Becoming Completely Unraveled

The More


Building the Butterfly ~
I am not who I once was
I am primordial ooze forming
I am all potential with intention
I am growing and defining
I am beauty beyond belief
I am building the butterfly
I emerge
                                  – Dwight Raatz

I pulled the string that was wound around my life and began the unraveling of a lifetime of myths, fears, expectations and perceptions.  At times, I watch the spinning and wanted to reach out and pluck peaces out to hold them fast as to not change them, but that isn’t possible.  I’m finding that in order for me to create myself anew, I must completely unravel down to Nothing.  And this process has not been simple or in any way easy.

In the beginning, it was religion that was a main focus for me to reveal my own thoughts and truths about what I felt about what was going on in church and what it all meant to me.  But I have come to an understanding about my spiritual path and view of religion, so this no longer concerns me.  What I aspire to now is the intricacies of my relationships with others and with full acceptance of myself.

As I become closer and closer to the core of my true self, I find that I am less and less concerned about all of worries I’ve held and created in my life that have never served me.  My mind is less bogged down with churning in and through all of the “situations” in life and it is free to be creative, to write, to experience people and places with a new and healthy perspective.  I’m slowing down the pace and seeing what’s truly there and truly important to spend my time responding to.

If you find that life is just not going the way you’ve planned or thought it should be, then let it unravel and see what is really being presented to you that you’ve probably been missing.  Look upon life as a new gift and an adventure each day and you may be surprised at the peace and love you will find.

Dwight Raatz

When Protection Becomes a Block

The More

As I’ve progressed through my life’s journey, I have unknowingly created a protective energetic coating around me.  This coating or cocoon has worked as a way to protect me from various aspects as I’ve grown and found my way down my path.  Up to this point, it’s done this job with varying degrees of success depending the challenge I’m faced with.  Sometimes the challenge has caused this coating to become even thicker or stronger to help “protect” me in the future.  While this protection serves a purpose during the initial stages of my life, I’m finding that it’s now become a block to my growth.

Recently I was with a group of friends who meet occasionally to do meditative journeys by using drumming or other kinds of percussion.  As we assembled for our session, there was talk about what we wanted to do as part our evening event.  Various ideas came up as we went around the room and the interesting thing that seems to happen is that through this conversation, the true “need” for the evening emerges from the ether.  Even after some really solid thoughtful ideas were offered, the “need” will just show itself and become exactly what should be done.  This happened during our last session.

I’m honored to say that I was chosen as what needed to be focused on.  This happened after what seemed initially as an off-hand comment from one friend that she sees a bubble or coating surrounding me, and that she’s wanted to “pop” this for some time.  Within minutes I was standing in the center of the room with my friends in a circle around me.  They set the circle with their intention to transform me, to draw me out of that cocoon that has housed me for years, but no longer serves me.  My friends could see that my need for this protection was no longer needed, even though I didn’t see it myself.

The session was intense to say the least.  There was drumming, rattles, un-recognizable spoken words, yelling, invoking and calling to that person inside the cocoon that was sleeping.  I closed my eyes and felt as if I was sucked down to the ground, anchored in place and secure.  I was not afraid as I knew my chosen family was around me, caring for me.  As the drumming became louder and louder, I could feel its vibrations ripple through me.  I could feel the slippery sticky coating ripple and loose its cohesiveness.  It would atomize and then reform instantly, trying desperately to stay together.  I could feel waves of energy pulsing through me from my head out through my feet into the earth.  My heart raced and my whole body vibrated.  Slowly with each movement, drum beat and command, the cocoon parted and fell away.  I could feel a cool breeze and fresh air rush into my lungs.  I felt lighter as if I could bounce all the way to moon in a single bound.

When it was finally over, I was surrounded in a group hug of support.  I was shaking and felt weak and as my eyes opened for the first time, I realized I was looking through new eyes at a place and people I didn’t really know.  I saw each of them in the beauty they held inside with their true selves.  They were shiny and glowing and beautiful.

As each person approached and introduced themselves I felt honored and peaceful to be there with these great Beings of light.  One person asked if I “feel better” and I found it confusing as I didn’t feel as if I had anything prior to compare it to.  My answer was, “Compared to what?  I have nothing outside of this moment to know.”

In my time since this session, I have found that my eyes are still adjusting to this new view on the world.  I see even more, my connection with others and how important that to be effective at changing the world, it must begin within me.  This is not a selfish thing at all, but rather a necessity.  I understand that transformation comes in a variety of forms.  Sometimes those moments are small and almost imperceptible; other times they are huge and earth shattering.  The important thing is to be mindful of each change, honor it and keep your awareness on your next actions.

“The only constant is change.” – Heraclitus of Ephesus a Greek philosopher (c.535 BC – 475 BC)

Dwight Raatz