When Protection Becomes a Block

The More

As I’ve progressed through my life’s journey, I have unknowingly created a protective energetic coating around me.  This coating or cocoon has worked as a way to protect me from various aspects as I’ve grown and found my way down my path.  Up to this point, it’s done this job with varying degrees of success depending the challenge I’m faced with.  Sometimes the challenge has caused this coating to become even thicker or stronger to help “protect” me in the future.  While this protection serves a purpose during the initial stages of my life, I’m finding that it’s now become a block to my growth.

Recently I was with a group of friends who meet occasionally to do meditative journeys by using drumming or other kinds of percussion.  As we assembled for our session, there was talk about what we wanted to do as part our evening event.  Various ideas came up as we went around the room and the interesting thing that seems to happen is that through this conversation, the true “need” for the evening emerges from the ether.  Even after some really solid thoughtful ideas were offered, the “need” will just show itself and become exactly what should be done.  This happened during our last session.

I’m honored to say that I was chosen as what needed to be focused on.  This happened after what seemed initially as an off-hand comment from one friend that she sees a bubble or coating surrounding me, and that she’s wanted to “pop” this for some time.  Within minutes I was standing in the center of the room with my friends in a circle around me.  They set the circle with their intention to transform me, to draw me out of that cocoon that has housed me for years, but no longer serves me.  My friends could see that my need for this protection was no longer needed, even though I didn’t see it myself.

The session was intense to say the least.  There was drumming, rattles, un-recognizable spoken words, yelling, invoking and calling to that person inside the cocoon that was sleeping.  I closed my eyes and felt as if I was sucked down to the ground, anchored in place and secure.  I was not afraid as I knew my chosen family was around me, caring for me.  As the drumming became louder and louder, I could feel its vibrations ripple through me.  I could feel the slippery sticky coating ripple and loose its cohesiveness.  It would atomize and then reform instantly, trying desperately to stay together.  I could feel waves of energy pulsing through me from my head out through my feet into the earth.  My heart raced and my whole body vibrated.  Slowly with each movement, drum beat and command, the cocoon parted and fell away.  I could feel a cool breeze and fresh air rush into my lungs.  I felt lighter as if I could bounce all the way to moon in a single bound.

When it was finally over, I was surrounded in a group hug of support.  I was shaking and felt weak and as my eyes opened for the first time, I realized I was looking through new eyes at a place and people I didn’t really know.  I saw each of them in the beauty they held inside with their true selves.  They were shiny and glowing and beautiful.

As each person approached and introduced themselves I felt honored and peaceful to be there with these great Beings of light.  One person asked if I “feel better” and I found it confusing as I didn’t feel as if I had anything prior to compare it to.  My answer was, “Compared to what?  I have nothing outside of this moment to know.”

In my time since this session, I have found that my eyes are still adjusting to this new view on the world.  I see even more, my connection with others and how important that to be effective at changing the world, it must begin within me.  This is not a selfish thing at all, but rather a necessity.  I understand that transformation comes in a variety of forms.  Sometimes those moments are small and almost imperceptible; other times they are huge and earth shattering.  The important thing is to be mindful of each change, honor it and keep your awareness on your next actions.

“The only constant is change.” – Heraclitus of Ephesus a Greek philosopher (c.535 BC – 475 BC)

Dwight Raatz

Journey to the Island of Creation

Recently I experienced a shamanic journey that I will share with you here. A group of friends and I got together to do some energy work and we started out the evening with one of my friends doing a one card tarot reading for each of us. I don’t recall the card I drew, but I do remember him telling me that part of the card’s meaning was being able to step outside my ego and looking at those aspects of myself in a way that is giving me control over the ego. This resonated with me because this is exactly what I’ve been experiencing over the past few months and it hit home how far I have come.

We then continued the night with my friend asking about how we wanted to journey; did we want to sit in silence, use a drum or a signing bowl. I was immediately drawn to the drum and spoke my wish. It was agreed to have the drum be the “regulator” of our journey. My friend has the ability to not only drum, but also to journey at the same time. Quite impressive I thought!

All was silent and we prepared ourselves. The drum call began with slow regular beats vibrating our beings and setting the tone. There was a shift and the drumming gathered speed and strength. Immediately I found myself flying above the ground, speeding toward some unknown location. The ground below me was a blur and I could see the curve of the earth as I moved faster and higher. I sensed a presence with me so I looked around to see that behind me flew several small “beings”. I thought it was interesting, but did not pay too much attention.

Ahead in the distance I could see a large object floating above the earth. It had irregular features and as I grew closer, I could see that it appeared to be an island. The island had mountain tops with streams flowing down, trees with many varieties and a dense growth, a large beach with water surrounding it.

I landed on the beach next to a large pyre of wood that was set aflame. The journey drum beat became strong in me and I began to dance around the fire. I looked behind me to see seven little beings dancing behind me – interesting. I looked at my body to see myself dressed in native American ceremonial garb – feathers on my headdress, along my arms – intricate beads sewn in in colorful and dazzling patterns on my leather garment. The drum’s rhythm urged me on to feel and let go of my human connection and to be part of the earth. I danced with love and creation flowing.

As I danced, I could see the skin from my body shedding off like dirt and becoming part of the ground. I could see the sweat running down my sides and flowing toward the streams. I could see my breath extending out and creating breeze. I could see the energy of my dance act as a fuel for the fire and I could feel it expanding. I saw all of these elements expanding and falling to the earth to replenish and renew. With all of this, I saw that I was the creator – that I Am. I saw that I was bringing life and am master of my own.

My curiosity became aroused with regard to the little beings following behind. I turned to look behind only to see that they no longer followed. I looked around to find them on the outer ring beyond where I danced with no connection to my creation process. They did not struggle, but rather appeared to be waiting and holding space for my work. What were these beings I asked. Immediately the answer came to me explaining that these were what made me human and were outside my Truth, Love and Creation. Then I knew they represented the ego in what could be referred to as the “seven deadly sins” (Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy & Pride) – all of which are born of fear. They cannot exist where love creates and all was right and I danced with Joy and Abundance!

My journey ended here as the drumbeat changed and called me back. I returned to my reality in the midst of friends and we shared our stories. I felt very blessed to be there and humbled to know my connection to All That Is.


Dwight Raatz