What I know now is that my thoughts are creation itself, and the more I thought about my unworthiness the more that came to be and the cycle would build on itself. Now, I can identify these thoughts and immediately acknowledge them, love them for what they are and then transmute them into motivation to never be that way again. The control is mine regardless. I used to blame my parents and others for what and who I was, but I now know that what “they” did was all they could do to survive and feel good about themselves. Sometimes this meant to be mean, to put upon guilt and blame, to shift their power outside themselves and give it to others. This is what I saw as a child and therefore thought it was how it should be and then began doing the same to myself. All of this however has very little power over me now. While I still acknowledge it, I look at it only as the experience I created for myself. I am responsible for me.